Today I was brave. Not brave in a big world sort of way, but brave in my world. Today I reached out to an author I adore to interview them for my YouTube channel, Hyperactive Bookworm. And while this was brave of me, this was not the end to my bravery.
I figured I would receive either a yes or a no. I was beyond surprised to receive a rather long reply that not only included a fantastic story from their own past, but also a challenge once put to her and now passed on to me.
My stomach clenched and the hairs on my arms stood to attention. This is a reaction I know well. We’ve been intimate many times over the years.
As little as 2 years ago, this reaction would have me scurrying back into my corner, rocking back and forth like Bart Simpson after Homer made him the clown bed.
It would have been awkward and horrible, but I undoubtedly would have pretended as though I had never asked said author and if asked by them would have blathered on about my busy life, which isn’t a lie but neither would it have been the entire truth.
But here I am, a few questions written down (they may not make the final cut) and am stunned to see how far I really have come.
Sometimes it’s so hard to see the daily shifts and changes within yourself because you don’t often get moments that highlight just how much change has occurred.
Am I still terrified of how the questions will be received? If I fail to challenge the author and myself to levels hoped for? For blathering like a fool even if the questions are approved and opening my mouth to leave all doubts of my gushing idiocy? Oh yeah, there is still the fear. Am I learning to like the shiver of fear and embrace it instead of letting it drive the car, and drive me far away … also … yes?! Over the last two years I really have come to enjoy the challenges and how they have helped me grow, as a person and as a writer … jury is still out on growth as a potential journo lol.
So maybe, if you haven’t had a chance to stop and see how much you have grown and changed now might be just the reminder you need to stop and reevaluate your own awesomeness.