Posted in Life Adventures, Reading Adventures

When Reading Inspires Nostalgia

I recently finished a Young Adult book centered around the four days of a ‘geek convention’. If I had found this book while I was a young adult. I would have read it to spine breaking, pages falling out addiction. As an adult, in a world more open then it had been when I was an adolescent, I want more of the second subplot which is the one I needed and the one I can and would have related to. But it was enough to send my thoughts back.

Yesterday, while still at home with a not quite healthy enough for Kindy 4 year old I felt myself slip into nostalgia.

Naturally for me, this presented itself through music. I have very limited (read: none whatsoever) musical skills myself, but oh how it saved me time and time again throughout my adolescence.

Some things I’m being reminded of once again about younger me (there have been some laughing eye rolls and facepalms)

Most iconic musicians from my adolescence … they are so young here lol

1. I was not a subtle teenager. I really never did see the point of subtly. Definitely not when it came to my own thoughts and feelings. I look back and think well dah! Did you really think no one knew? Which makes it so understandable the ease of my coming out – maybe not so much the acceptance later but definitely the coming out – which may or may not be a story for another time.

2. It never dawned on me during this whole unsubtle expression of myself that it was brave. I just never thought about the option of hiding myself, even to the point of my own detriment.

3. I was always in love with the story teller and the worlds they weaved. Others may know the instruments and the keys. Heck, my partner could listen to instrumentals all day and be happy. Me, I always needed the story, the words to help define the whirlwind of contradictions swirling inside my chest and my head.

So of course, in true 90’s adolescent fashion, I’ve begun a playlist of some of the most important songs that I listened to until I stretched out the tapes and scratched the CDs.

What do you most think about when you listen to music? Do you have other things that send you tumbling back in time? I’d love to know.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Australia, Life Adventures, Writing Adventures

My Pros and Cons of being an Introverted Writer

You may or may not know this, but writer’s, predominantly, are introverts. It might be hard to believe if you’ve ever walked past a group of writers who are chatting excitedly, laughing, and beaming like different versions of the joker. You might even have seen online versions of these gatherings (usually written in comments where the banter comes out). Or perhaps you know some of the more extroverted authors … they aren’t myths, I know right!? But I promise you, I have friends who fit this category. When I first met them, it took awhile to lift my jaw from the floor and stop staring wondering if everyone else saw them. Was it true, they actually got recharged from other people? But as time moved on, I came to realise they are just as awesome.

I however, am NOT one of those extroverted authors. It’s true, I can be loud and chatty and even outgoing, usually around other authors. We tend to bring it out in each other, as we talk about shared passions and projects with people who just get it. But this does not automatically equate to introvert or extrovert. I learnt very young how to mingle and do the small talk thing. BUT,
do I like it? No.
Does it recharge me? No.
Do I need a plethora of alone time to recharge after a social engagement? Oh yes indeed.

For an author, this can be troublesome, to say the least. Not everything may relate to every author, or even every introverted author, but here are my latest struggles with being an introverted author:

  1. Being extroverted does tend to be the more accepted way of being in the overall society I live in. It is the skill set that people are expected to work toward, to attain.
    Example: Being quiet at a gathering you may have heard or even said something like this in the hopes of making someone feel more comfortable. It’s a really sweet sentiment … ‘It’s ok, you don’t have to be shy, we won’t bite.’ … the problem is, I am often happy just watching. I’m not being shy, I’m just being me. (creepy undertones of people watching may or may not be present). This does also implies that there is something wrong with being shy, and perhaps even that I might be the one to bite … 😉 ok, that last bit might just be me enjoying the quirk a little (horror and dark fantasy author after all). This is not to say that extroverts aren’t great to have around, or quite wonderful people. Without many of the extroverts, it might end up being quite the quiet party (secretly hopes I can pull my book out of my bag and read without weird looks). But it is something I overthink and worry about when I leave a gathering. Was I being too quiet again? Was I enjoying people watching just a little too much? Or worse, was I awkwardly trying to add to conversations that ended up killing them.
  2. I want people to read my writing. I want to be a known author, even in the smallest of spheres. Why is this a problem? Because to become known, most of the time you have to put yourself out there. And I tell you, I have been putting myself out there a lot lately. And while I’m going slow, enjoying small groups, and baby steps that don’t freak me out too much. Any growth, any spike in attention both excites and downright terrifies me. Conundrum.
  3. Can’t I just let my writing speak for itself? … It would seem not. And as an anxiety ridden introverted creative, this comes with a plethora of issues. The market is filled with books, and authors. (Thankfully – I’m a very appreciative reader). To get out there you must seek out a readership, cultivate reader/writer relationships with strangers and be seen. And try your best not to fan girl when one of your favourite authors starts following your friend, or comments/replies on one of your interactions. I epically fail, often, at this last one.
  4. Learning to pivot (from my previous post) is a skill I am continually trying to rework my brain to accept. It’s not easy, but it’s not beat me yet. When something unexpected happens (and it will, that is life and the nature of the writing career), it takes me a bit longer than other people I know to process and move on, to pivot and side step around the problem and move forward. Recently, when a huge unexpected step back happened (the need to pull/change the publication of my first Novella) every bad thought raced through my mind. Will anyone else pick it up? Will I be seen as a flaky author? Should I divulge more for the reasoning? How do I stray professional and reassure potential readers that this was unexpected and also, for myself, unavoidable? I was very lucky, I have had many friends in the writing world and community reach out and help me find my way through. But it was very draining, and the time I used to recover is not something I always have.

Note: My Novella WILL see the light of day, it is currently with two potential publishers and if it does not suit them for genre/themes/timeframe I will look at getting it out there in other ways. I am in love with this story, and it’s evolution of both story and writing with the help of incredible feedback and editing.

But here is the good news – Being a writer (actually doing the writing) is such a brilliant career for an introvert:

  1. Alone time. Writing is a solitary activity. The main part of being a writer, is writing … shocking I know. Oh, I know all too well it’s not always easy, but being allowed, being expected even, to do it alone is a wonderful freedom. It allows one to create without having your energy drained by the need to socialise as well. I personally thrive on my alone time, and I have it on good authority from many writers I know, that they do as well.
  2. Thinking. Writing is a deeply thoughtful process. Yes, it’s true there are times where it feels like the words are flowing without much conscious thought. Ah, but the subconscious never stops. And introverts are quite well known to be deep thinkers. Here is a study I found about the way introverts and extroverts think. It’s a little heavy and technical in parts, but well worth the read. While I would hazard it is not complete and focuses on old studies, I did come away with this: The researchers believed that this finding showed introverts to be more sensitive to incoming information, and also to expend more mental effort by analyzing those stimuli more deeply and carefully. We also take a while to respond as we thinking a whole train station full of thoughts before we settle on a response.
  3. Being online. This can be a bit of a two sided coin. But in the current state of the world, where more things are turning to online interactions, introverted writers (and introverts as a whole) may find themselves far more visible, without the uncomfortable expectation to appear at conventions and speak on panels, to engage in real time. Not that these things aren’t also happening online, but there is more flexibility to be present without being as drained. For me, this is a win most of the time. Yes, a social activity online can leave me drained, but I’m already home, I’m already comfortable and, I’m still allowing readers to get to know me. An added bonus of the rising need of online presence is suddenly I’m not limited to the readership of my fellow Aussies. Don’t get me wrong, I love being an Australian, and much of my writing is set and influenced by this country and my experiences in it. However, I have had one on one conversations with authors who had previously seemed in a completely different universe, not just in a country far far away.
  4. People Watching. All those times I sit back and observe the crowd, I am observing more than just the people’s words and body language, I am observing the sounds and smells that envelope us, the way the light lays around, the sway in the nearby trees. All this observing helps to create richer worlds and writing. At least, I feel it does, I mean it must, mustn’t it?

If you are an introverted author, and struggle with any of the above, just know you are not alone.

Be Safe
Be Kind
Be Brave

Posted in Life Adventures

Vale Aiki

Last night an incredible woman won her last battle against pain and the mortal realm. My dear friend and mentor, Aiki Flinthart flew to Valhalla for a beer and a song.

I met Aiki three years ago when I showed up to my local writing group with no idea what the next three years would look like. With her friendship, guidance, encouragement, and overall belief in me, I find myself doing things I thought only others did. Braver, smarter, more incredible people. She would scoff to read that, I can almost see her shaking her head and telling me emphatically that I am these things, that I can be braver. And I have been so much braver.

I feel extremely lucky, and incredibly honored to have gotten to know this incredible writer and woman. As a writer, Aiki was phenomenal. As a human being, she was so much more.

No words seem to be able to portray just how much I adored her, and how much light she cast, but in her honor I will write, I will be brave, and I will continue to do the things she always believed I could.

My heart goes out to her beautiful husband, who opened his arms to me, and her amazing son, who I can’t even imagine his pain.

Vale Aiki, your light will be missed. Save me a seat in Valhalla.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Book Club, Life Adventures, Reading Adventures, Writing Adventures

Well that was a week

I’m not sure anyone really expected life to suddenly become perfect but I’m almost certain no one thought 2020 was a shocking calm before the storm. And perhaps it is neither extreme but this first week of 2021 has certainly thrown a spanned in the works.

I don’t want to go into the world at large thing, because we all know the dumpster fire has followed us into the New Year. Locally, we are in a sudden 3 day lockdown, which sounds minimal but I’m not delusional enough to think that after three days life will be great again. Nor will I be shocked if the lockdown is extended, again and again.

On a personal note, things have been a bit rough as well.

Three of the most influential and important women in my life are in dire situations with their health (mum if you are reading this, you are NOT allowed to get sick) one has even been given the devastating prognosis of approximately 6 weeks.

Last night when I learned this I sobbed into my partners shoulder and felt a crushing pain in my chest. I cried myself to sleep and have woken sadden but aware that if I were to let this stop me grabbing everyday and doing what I can with it, she would not only kick my arse but damn what a disrespect that would be. The sadness remains but along with that, I have the memories and light of her being in my life.

So what has 2021 offered so far to help light the rough days ahead. I have finally got this blog up and running properly and have my website good to go. I am working on finally getting my newsletter happening, and I’m so excited about it. I have a short story I am itching to give away to all subscribers and have the most beautiful cover made by the incredibly talented Pamela Jeffs. Her writing is mind blowing and her cover designs (a hobby she says) are truly stunning.

Reading:
I’ve embarked on a very optimistic goodreads reading challenge for 2021 of 100 books. Last year I managed 61 in the end and thought that incredible, but what’s a challenge if you aren’t pushing yourself beyond what you already know you can do.
In these 100 books I’m also working on the Sapphic Reading Challenge 2021 created by the incredibly awesome and talented Jae.

https://jae-fiction.com/sapphic-reading-challenge-2021/

I’m aiming for the dragon level 1 badge (1 book from each 50 categories) AND the bonus unicorn badge (10 of the 12 category). If you want to up your reading challenge and embark on some sapphic reading, and perhaps find new authors and categories then go take a look. There are many levels of badges, for all levels of readers.

I finished my first book The Queen’s Blade by Natasha Rose and am almost half way through Hotel Queens by Lee Winter. Both books are featured on the Les Fiction Book Club Facebook group this month. There will be author interviews, Q&A’s, and discussion at the end of the month. I’m also hoping to get some quick video reviews done as well.

Writing:
I finished my first full draft rewrite of Gargoyles, a dystopian novella I’m hoping to submit to a publisher by the end of February.
I’ve almost finished my last read through of The Void for the Publishers deadline of the end of the month.
I have also, with the help of my lovely partner, set up a writing space in our office. It’s so pretty and exciting.

New writing space .. Not yet finished but well on its way

So I hope you are all staying safe, and I’d love to hear if you’re doing any reading challenges this year, or any other challenges you are embarking on in 2021.

Be safe
Be brave
Be kind

Posted in Life Adventures

Gratitude and New Year Post

While sometimes I push against posts that seem to be ‘obligatory’ I’ve always appreciated the gratitude and fresh start posts of the New year.

While I doubt anyone can deny that 2020 was indeed a dumpster fire of a year, I am well aware of how lucky I am and have been throughout the year. Yes, bad stuff happened. Yes, I ended up in tears, Yes, my anxiety spiked. Yes, I could focus on all the bad stuff. But I don’t want to focus solely on that. I want to make sure I remember the things I have smiled about, the happy tears, the connections I’ve made, and the overcoming of real hurdles – emotional, physical, psychological .. the whole shebang.

  • To my family – extended, immediate, blood, and beyond blood – thank you so much for all the love and support you have given me this year. To the help you have all so willingly offered; to pursue my dreams, to have a break, to remind me what I am already doing, when I let those dreaded ‘I can’t do this’ words slip from my lips.
  • To my writing tribes (many of you who have also become family) thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, skills, life, and writing lessons with such generosity and kindness.

This New Year coming is already looking to be a big one, which is both a little overwhelming and a lot exciting. After 6 months of pneumonia this past past, I am also focusing on positive health for the new year … fingers crossed.
I have 8 writing projects planned so far for 20201 – all at different stages, some small and others rather larger. I’m excited about each and everyone of them and while it seems like a lot (it is), with the help of my ever patient and supportive partner we have started renovating the office and taking my writing career to an excitingly serious level.

There are some priority goals I want to work on for next year, not so much with an end line but a progress and improvement for myself.

  • Improving my writers craft – this is an eternal goal. I never want to stop working on this craft. There is always something more to learn, something I can improve on.
  • Braving videos with more ease and comfort. In 2020 I did less than a handful but I am proud of having done any … all live videos – 2 author chats, and one book review … which leads me to the third goal ….
  • Becoming a more detailed and confident book reviewer (and doing regular video reviews)

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Life Adventures, Publications, Writing Adventures

Just a Little Update

A lot later with this post then I meant, but these things happen, regularly. I’m working on my November Reviews post now but just a little update about life and writing. Since finishing NaNoWriMo, the publisher of my Novella Series Fang Ripper Chronicles has picked a date for Book 1, The Void and advertised it.

Book 1 of my first Series coming in 2021 – It’s real and it’s happening

In between working on this series, I’ve been preparing for my first Novella being released on April 23rd, Cold as Hell, which I should hopefully be able to reveal the cover and pre-order link in the next few weeks. As well as working on some other stories, including a dystopian tale to push me right outside of my comfort zone. It’s been very interesting and educational … about both my writing method and the frustrations I am getting with my own writing method.

In life news, we are looking forward to a small family Christmas with just our little trio (well there is five of us when you include the fur babies). We even got the lights and tree up.

Our Tree Book

Hope you are all staying safe, and looking forward to some season joy or downtime.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind