Posted in Reading Adventures, Writing Adventures

Everyone Should Write – Yes, I’m Talking To You

It’s a strange concept, or at least it seemed like one to me when I first heard it talked about with some of the amazing authors in the sapphic writers community. But most authors (and I argue all good authors) are readers. They will read more books than they will ever manage to write. If every reader wrote, there would still be more books wanted, more books being read than being written.

But this can sometimes be hard to imagine as the plethora of books and TBR piles and new releases can seem overwhelming at times. And I suppose it also depends on what you write. It’s taken me a long time and I’m still settling into my happiest writers niche. Just to clarify, Sapphic Speculative Fiction is totally my writing jam, but even that has many genres and sub genres beneath this umbrella.

I’m finding there are more out there then I originally thought and this has been so exciting as a reader, and truly terrifying as a writer. It’s worried at the back of my brain. But while reading one of my favourtie sapphic sci-fi authors this morning, I had an epiphany of happiness for the writer in me.

I belong to many different reader groups. There are often multiple recommendation requests a day. I cannot think of a single request that asks for something opposite to what the reader has enjoyed. More often than not the requests going along something like this:

I just finished [insert title and author here] and loved it. I’m looking for more of the same.

Let me just repeat that here: LOOKING FOR MORE OF THE SAME.

That’s right. We readers may not always want the same genre or trope for every single book we read, but often WE DO go back and forth between what we love most. Myself, I will mix up what I read, but then I often go back and revisit the same genres and tropes. They are my favourites for a reason.

Ok, so you’re probably thinking, yes that’s all well and good but how could my writing ever compare to [insert your favourite book in your writing genre]. Here’s a revolutionary concept. It doesn’t have to compare. What you love about a book, another reader might find annoying and the worst part. You will always be your harshest critic with your own writing. That’s why it’s such a great and vital idea to have beta readers, editors, and a plethora of others whose opinion you value and who aren’t afraid to tell you both their loved and not so loved parts.

And no-one, not even yourself, can write the exact same story twice. So, don’t let that snide little negative nelly voice in your head stop you from loving your own stories.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Neen x

Posted in Life Adventures, Writing Adventures

Why I Write

I haven’t blogged a lot lately, and mostly because I haven’t felt like I have enough ‘content’. My thoughts have begun with a lot of ‘What am I teaching you wonderful readers? I need to do more learning the craft so I can help.’ and it spiral from there. It’s been a stressful thought pattern.

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and fellow author and I just about burst into tears, As we spoke the conversation came around to story telling and how sometimes we forget that’s why we are doing this in the first place. Not to have all the technicalities right, not to know how to market, not to network. Yes, these things are important, but they are often overshadowing my thoughts and peaking my anxiety.

Then last night I had an interview with a publisher (Eerie River Publishing – go check them out) to highlight me as one of their authors for PRIDE month, and some of the questions were an oomph to the chest.

Ok, world. Yes, I get it. Time to remind myself of the roots and reasons.

I have at times forgotten why I write in the first place, so I’ve decided to make a list of the top reasons I write:

To tell stories
To escape – for me and my readers
To represent and minimise isolation
To create the stories I couldn’t find growing up

While learning about writing will always be important to me, I’m not sure any of that knowledge will mean anything if I forget the reasons for why I write in the first place.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Neen x

Posted in Publications, Writing Adventures

Pinch Me

It’s happening. It’s really happening.

After a tumultuous start to the year: authorly, personally, and healthily, things are turning and I’m slowly unfolding myself from the assumed crash position.

When I pulled Cold As Hell from its previous publisher I was so disheartened. I knew it was the right thing to do, for many reasons, but still all my hopes and excitement about getting my own publication out into the world were set alight and left to burn to cinders. I had resigned myself to have it be tucked away in the bottom drawer in my mental filing cabinet.

And yet, here we are. *insert a SQUEE of excitement*

The work that has gone into creating a richer and more dynamic and delicious tale has been well worth the wait.

I can honestly say I am in love with Cold As Hell. I cannot wait to hold it up with pride and a Cheshire grin. and I really hope others enjoy Adie and her adventure and discovery, scratching past the surface of OpenFields.

To get your own copy, preorders can be found here.

Be safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Neen

Posted in Life Adventures, Writing Adventures

OK to be bad

This has been a huge mindset shift for me. It’s taken a lot of years but once I embraced it, the world opened up.

I didn’t know what it is exactly that has changed, I just know that in the last few months, my fear became the annoying buzz of a mosquito in a dark room instead of the roaring dinosaur it used to be. I found I was taking chances, putting more of my work out there and really embracing the learning of this wonderful writer’s craft.

Turns out, all these blocks I had in place came down to one thing … the misconception of perfectionism.

Fear of not being perfect at something stopped be from trying at all. I didn’t want to attempt something and realise I was BAD at it, worst of all let other people know that I was BAD at new things, any things. But like everything, to get good you have to start by being bad.

This isn’t an easy thing. If you struggle with the fear of criticism for your less than perfect wonderful self, this is a HUGE hill to climb.

I am sure there will be times where it rears its ugly head again. I’d like to think I have overcoming it once and for all, but that’s not usually how these things work. And that too is OK.

At the start of April a friend reached out, a friend who always signs up for NaNoWriMo with me most years and bails within the first week, and told me about escapril. A poetry daily challenge for April. I know as little as six months ago I would have balked at considering this challenge. Putting my writing out there every single day for a whole month … writing a poem every day to a prompt? No thanks. It’s one thing to do NaNoWriMo and input the word count you’ve done that day … but it’s an entirely different thing to put the actual words you’ve written out there.

Turns out, I’ve gotten a lot better at being bad.

And it turns out some of the poems aren’t too shabby. And each day that I manage to do the goal, I feel a little more confident in trying. A little more OK to be bad.

If you’re interested in checking out the prompted poetry of Escapril you can find them on my instagram account neenauthor.

The daily prompts for Escapril 2021

Do you struggle with perfectionism?
Have you pushed yourself and found a way to accept being bad at something?
I’d love to know

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Neen

Posted in Writing Adventures

Pivoting, Saying No, and knowing that’s OK

Pivoting … I had never heard it in relation to writing until quite recently. A lot of writers and podcasts I listen to, The Creative Penn, Lesbians Who Write, and Writing excuses are the top three, often discuss this need to be able to pivot.

Recently a lot has been happening. A lot of changes, both good and bad, and a lot of things moving forward in my writing Career. I’m sitting here smiling with a happy shiver just thinking that. My Writing Career. It’s exciting, and thrilling. It’s a surreal feeling but I know that I really am on the path I want to be on. So, why am I also feeling that heat in my chest, that first sign of my anxiety sneaking over that wall, with a too happy and cheeky smile?

Am I ungrateful for wanting to stop the runaway train? Am I not cut out for the long road? No.

It’s quite a normal response, so I’m told. And the more I examine my own thoughts and reasonings the more I know that no, I am extremely grateful and I am always learning and still have that yearning to keep going, in my own time and pace. I am cut out for the long road, because I say so, and I am doing so with my actions.

What I’m learning is how to prioritise, breathe, and discover the benefits of that pesky little virtue called patience. I know I am feeling overwhelmed, I am beginning to recognise the early signs and not wait until I have a melt down. It’s still a juggling act, balancing pushing myself out of my comfort zones, while also making sure that everything is doable.

For me, the long road means I don’t need to do everything all at once. I can slow down on anything moving too fast, I can put things on hold, and when opportunities arise, I don’t have to always or automatically say yes. No has a power all of it’s own. And while I remember feeling that sense of fear, that if I said no, that would be it. No more chances or opportunities. It’s not true.

If you are having doubts, feeling rushed, pushed, or on a runaway freight train it is OK to stop. It is ok to take a step back, and there is a great power in learning to pivot. If you are gnawing on your fingernails, worried about having to say yes to every opportunity remember, not all opportunities are the right thing for every person. Give yourself the permission to run your own path, and go at your own pace.

That’s my work in progress on myself.

Be Safe
Be Kind
Be Brave

Posted in Publications, Writing Adventures

IT’S HERE!

EDIT: THIS IS NO LONGER HAPPENING AS THIS POST DESCRIBES – DUE TO PRIVATE AND PROFESSIONAL REASONS I HAVE PULLED THIS BOOK FROM THE PUBLISHER – IT HAS A NEW PUBLISHER AND NEW RELEASE DATE … AND THINGS ARE ALL GOOD.

Last year I pushed myself beyond all comfort zones and wrote my first Novella. Cold As Hell is about Adie, a young woman who lives in OpenFields. But OpenFields is not your ordinary town. Magic exists here, and while Adie is the odd one out, things are all about to change.

I’m so excited to be able to share this gorgeous cover and pre-order (https://readerlinks.com/l/1661404) link with you.

Cold As Hell will be out on April 23rd 2021. By pre-ordering you can make sure it hits your reading devices as early as possible.

Thank you so much to Black Hare Press for taking the chance on me and getting my words out there. I can’t wait to get my hands on a paperback copy.

Now, if you’ll all excuse me … time to go run around like a happy little loony toon. It’s HERE!!! 😀

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Australia, Book Review, Reading Adventures, Writing Adventures

Not a review … as such

I’ve only just discovered the beauty of audio books. I take my time in getting acquainted with change. Usually denouncing the change stubbornly until I finally experience it and become they biggest spokes person.

Yesterday I spent a good chunk of my day listening to my latest audiobook, A Heart This Big by Cheyenne Blue. I’m still only three quarters of the way through, so I can’t really give a full review as yet, but oh how this book has effected me already. It’s one of the first books I’ve read that has made me feel nostalgic in the most beautiful way to the landscape of my childhood.

I’ve read emotional books before, where they tear your heart out. But this book is a new level of emotion for me. It’s so beautiful and refreshing to read about Australia and fall back in love with my homeland. There’s no lying about the dusty landscape or the chicken shit, but the way Cheyenne has captured all the things I love about this beautiful country has me smiling and breathing deeper.

Much of what I myself write I have set in QLD, Australia. Because I love this country. Since I began writing I’ve had the discouragements and the downright statements that setting my writing anywhere in Australia will have me fail. I gave in a few time and took out specific town names, and obvious descriptors, and I have to say I’ve not liked the stories nearly as much. So after awhile I flipped the bird to the nay sayers and have continued to set my worlds obviously in this country. That doesn’t mean I haven’t worried at my bottom lip when I’ve sent a manuscript off with the tell tale names and places. But I’ve fallen in love with many overseas places through the words of others, I would love to one day make a reader want to see this country, or to fall in love with their own country.

A Heart This Big also sent me skittering to the kitchen. There is something so inherent in my childhood about cooking. My mum isn’t a big cooker, but my grandma was – possibly the only positive thing I could say about the woman. I danced around the kitchen with my son while I cooked and cleaned, baked, and chopped apples. The apples were to dry, but the smell sent me back to days where I would be at the farm and wander into the house to smell my Gran’s apple pies baking.

I feel like I’ve always appreciated this country, but perhaps the struggles of my childhood have made me forget how much I loved Australia even back then, and the country girl in me is still alive and well.

Thank you Cheyenne for reminding me that this country is beautiful, and always has been.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Reading Adventures, Writing Adventures

The Great Pretender (Fighting the Impostor Syndrome)

I originally posted this March 28 2019, a lot has happened since then but many of the sentiments remain the same.

Because it feels like the universe is not so subtly nudging me in to addressing my own issue of being an impostor, I have feel the need to write about this. As a side note: I don’t believe in the concept of fate. I prefer to channel Kyle Reese/Sarah Connor ‘There is no fate, but what we make ourselves’. So I’m taking the hints and deciding to do something about it.
There things have happened within the last week or so that have made me pay more attention. So I’m trying to address it so I can move forward.

1. I read about perfection and it’s perils
I read a post called ‘The Perils of Perfectionism’ by Sam Brown and for the first time a big loud pompous gong went off inside of me. It’s a fantastic post about how striving for perfect creates fear. If highly recommend having a little looksie here.
I have carried fear around a lot in my life, and far too often the mean little bitch has taken the wheel. It will be a work in progress, I have no illusions about that, but I figure I have to start saying no, and take that wheel back.
2. Talking about my doubts.

Recently I was talking to a fellow writer from one of my writing groups about my own impostor syndrome. What I explained to her is that I find myself putting those thoughts in to the drivers seat (yep, liking this analogy) without always realising I am doing it. I quite often catch myself humming or singing The Platters song ‘The Great Pretender’ (Queen’s version) to myself because I am constantly feeling like a fraud. Strutting sometimes occurs as well, as it should when one sings Queen.

3. Reading
I’m reading this book called ‘What Would Boudicca Do?’. I’ve had to take off my own self critical hat of ‘I’m stupid, I know nothing about so many of these women from history’ to saying ‘look at all this amazing history I am learning from this book.’ For me, books are all about learning. Even if that lesson is something as beautiful as learning to turn off, stop, breath and enjoy another person’s craft. But, books that I adore can both intimidate and inspire the writer within. ‘What would Boudicca do?’, while not what I thought it would be, has really made me stop and think about so many things. The chapters are small little bite size nuggets of women from history and what lessons we can learn from them. When I came across the chapter ‘the impostor syndrome.’ I swear I could feel my body trying desperately to shrink into herself, hide inside her shell and take refuge in becoming the furniture.
That evil little voice inside started piping up ‘yep, they are talking about you. You’re about to get busted!’
I had been devouring the book, when suddenly for two days I found every reason to be too busy to pick it up.
I finally gave in. It is an interesting chapter, that took a bit of a different angle with the inspired female from history then I would have expected. And even though it is encouraging in it’s not entirely unique take on the idea that those that have the syndrome are more likely to actually be good at what they are doing as opposed to those overly cocky, I still feel as though at any minute I’m going to be found out. Ah the impostor syndrome even rears her head when reading about the impostor syndrome. She’s a strong little bugger.
So, it really is time to stop letting it stop me, it’s time to start fighting back. I am not a pretender, but a learner. I’m learning to overcome it and I’m learning more about my craft. It’s not a small thing to simply overcome but I am taking steps in exposing my writing and getting feedback, real feedback. Because as they say, you are your own worst critic.

Well that was an interesting read. I have come so much further than I dared to hope when I orignally wrote that.

The impostor syndrome still raises her insidious head, but I have an amazing tribe of friends and writers and I talk about the snarky little bitch and she goes and scurries into the back seat, like most bullies.

In these crazy times, be extra kind to yourself and reach out if that doubting voice tries to yell over you.

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind

Posted in Book Club, Life Adventures, Reading Adventures, Writing Adventures

Well that was a week

I’m not sure anyone really expected life to suddenly become perfect but I’m almost certain no one thought 2020 was a shocking calm before the storm. And perhaps it is neither extreme but this first week of 2021 has certainly thrown a spanned in the works.

I don’t want to go into the world at large thing, because we all know the dumpster fire has followed us into the New Year. Locally, we are in a sudden 3 day lockdown, which sounds minimal but I’m not delusional enough to think that after three days life will be great again. Nor will I be shocked if the lockdown is extended, again and again.

On a personal note, things have been a bit rough as well.

Three of the most influential and important women in my life are in dire situations with their health (mum if you are reading this, you are NOT allowed to get sick) one has even been given the devastating prognosis of approximately 6 weeks.

Last night when I learned this I sobbed into my partners shoulder and felt a crushing pain in my chest. I cried myself to sleep and have woken sadden but aware that if I were to let this stop me grabbing everyday and doing what I can with it, she would not only kick my arse but damn what a disrespect that would be. The sadness remains but along with that, I have the memories and light of her being in my life.

So what has 2021 offered so far to help light the rough days ahead. I have finally got this blog up and running properly and have my website good to go. I am working on finally getting my newsletter happening, and I’m so excited about it. I have a short story I am itching to give away to all subscribers and have the most beautiful cover made by the incredibly talented Pamela Jeffs. Her writing is mind blowing and her cover designs (a hobby she says) are truly stunning.

Reading:
I’ve embarked on a very optimistic goodreads reading challenge for 2021 of 100 books. Last year I managed 61 in the end and thought that incredible, but what’s a challenge if you aren’t pushing yourself beyond what you already know you can do.
In these 100 books I’m also working on the Sapphic Reading Challenge 2021 created by the incredibly awesome and talented Jae.

https://jae-fiction.com/sapphic-reading-challenge-2021/

I’m aiming for the dragon level 1 badge (1 book from each 50 categories) AND the bonus unicorn badge (10 of the 12 category). If you want to up your reading challenge and embark on some sapphic reading, and perhaps find new authors and categories then go take a look. There are many levels of badges, for all levels of readers.

I finished my first book The Queen’s Blade by Natasha Rose and am almost half way through Hotel Queens by Lee Winter. Both books are featured on the Les Fiction Book Club Facebook group this month. There will be author interviews, Q&A’s, and discussion at the end of the month. I’m also hoping to get some quick video reviews done as well.

Writing:
I finished my first full draft rewrite of Gargoyles, a dystopian novella I’m hoping to submit to a publisher by the end of February.
I’ve almost finished my last read through of The Void for the Publishers deadline of the end of the month.
I have also, with the help of my lovely partner, set up a writing space in our office. It’s so pretty and exciting.

New writing space .. Not yet finished but well on its way

So I hope you are all staying safe, and I’d love to hear if you’re doing any reading challenges this year, or any other challenges you are embarking on in 2021.

Be safe
Be brave
Be kind

Posted in Life Adventures

Gratitude and New Year Post

While sometimes I push against posts that seem to be ‘obligatory’ I’ve always appreciated the gratitude and fresh start posts of the New year.

While I doubt anyone can deny that 2020 was indeed a dumpster fire of a year, I am well aware of how lucky I am and have been throughout the year. Yes, bad stuff happened. Yes, I ended up in tears, Yes, my anxiety spiked. Yes, I could focus on all the bad stuff. But I don’t want to focus solely on that. I want to make sure I remember the things I have smiled about, the happy tears, the connections I’ve made, and the overcoming of real hurdles – emotional, physical, psychological .. the whole shebang.

  • To my family – extended, immediate, blood, and beyond blood – thank you so much for all the love and support you have given me this year. To the help you have all so willingly offered; to pursue my dreams, to have a break, to remind me what I am already doing, when I let those dreaded ‘I can’t do this’ words slip from my lips.
  • To my writing tribes (many of you who have also become family) thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, skills, life, and writing lessons with such generosity and kindness.

This New Year coming is already looking to be a big one, which is both a little overwhelming and a lot exciting. After 6 months of pneumonia this past past, I am also focusing on positive health for the new year … fingers crossed.
I have 8 writing projects planned so far for 20201 – all at different stages, some small and others rather larger. I’m excited about each and everyone of them and while it seems like a lot (it is), with the help of my ever patient and supportive partner we have started renovating the office and taking my writing career to an excitingly serious level.

There are some priority goals I want to work on for next year, not so much with an end line but a progress and improvement for myself.

  • Improving my writers craft – this is an eternal goal. I never want to stop working on this craft. There is always something more to learn, something I can improve on.
  • Braving videos with more ease and comfort. In 2020 I did less than a handful but I am proud of having done any … all live videos – 2 author chats, and one book review … which leads me to the third goal ….
  • Becoming a more detailed and confident book reviewer (and doing regular video reviews)

Be Safe
Be Brave
Be Kind